Injections!!

Self-injecting was the part of the freezing process that I was most concerned about. I grew up with a mortal fear of needles (one of the ancillary duties of the Deputy Head Teacher at my High School was  holding me down when we had our scheduled immunisations at school - fairly sure she had been doing weights in preparation for the BCG when I was in year 10, knowing her work would be cut out for her).  

While that fear has diminished somewhat following my hospital stay at 15 where I had to become accustomed to needles, I by no means enjoy injections and the thought of self-administering them was laughable (particularly for my mother whose engagement ring shape is still embedded in her other fingers from my childhood vaccinations). 

I was sent a helpful video by the clinic which showed the process for preparing and administering the hormones. Fair warning, the first enormous needle you see is not in fact the one you use to inject - it is the one you use to mix. When I first saw it I was fairly close to giving up there and then and leaning into a barren future. There was also much more work required on my part than I expected (mixing the hormones with saline, changing needles etc) and it was a bit of a kick in the teeth when the video suggested that my partner could perhaps assist me as a way to get him involved in the process. Gee, thanks for the tip.  

Yes, that is a Gryffindor shirt because I'm brave

In the end, after some false starts and mistakes along the way, I became pretty efficient at administering the injections though a blow by blow account of the process is set out below:

DAY 1: Preparation successful. Minor panic when realised didn’t have alcohol swabs. Reminded relative got sepsis from failure to swab injection area. Managed to locate one in an old first aid kit. Complaints of boredom during extensive mixing process from spectating sister and mum on Facetime who were dialled in for moral support (subsequently joined by Dad who felt left out and wanted to show his support for my ovaries). Mild to moderate swearing during injection process which Mum kindly overlooked (sister pointed out swearing started before I even made contact with the skin - not sure how that's relevant).  Note to self - get alcohol wipes tomorrow to avoid sepsis. 

DAY 2: Preparation successful. Successful piercing of skin. Belatedly realised didn’t remove air from syringe. Removed and had to start injection again. Two injection sites required. Noticed increased difficulty if generously endowed in the chest area. Need to tuck boobs under chin so can see appropriate site for injection. Unexpected. No mention in preparatory materials. 

DAY 3: Minor issue in preparation stage. Managed to mix all 8 vials and promptly mishandled syringe so entire mixture ended up on kitchen counter. Given 1 day of hormones costs about $500 strongly considered suctioning it up again (trying to avoid crumbs from dinner obviously) but ultimately decided against it. Started again. Successful round 2. 

DAY 4: New technique implemented to avoid syringe flying out of hand - have now decided when I inject the fluid into each new vial, will remove and release pressure before re-inserting to draw the liquid back up. Mostly successful, save that small amount of mixture squirted into my eye. Twice. To monitor eye size in case unnatural growth initiated by hormone saline mixture. Friend suggested saying "crucio" as I inject. Tried it. Liked it. To continue. 

DAY 5: New technique perfected. Almost flawless preparation. Remembered to remove air. Once syringe inserted, unable to inject fluid. Tough fat, I mean muscle, impeding release. Had to take out and re-inject in different location. Too far away from initial location - two Band-Aids required. Poor planning on my part. 

DAY 6: First day of second injection required. Unenthused. Once I inserted second shot, realised hadn't removed air. Stabbed myself for the third time that night. Really need to remember to remove the air before injecting. 

DAY 7: Nailed the first shot. Halfway through second shot, realised forgot to remove air. Again. Zero improvement in this area.  Had to remove and do it again. 

DAY 8: Had a gala dinner, which I had agreed to attend in a moment of forgetfulness that I was in the midst of this process and needed to be home by 8:45. Pre-mixed hormones and smuggled syringes into venue like a drug dealer. Self-injected in the bathroom in a floor length gown, wearing 3 inch heels. Like a boss. Lighting wasn’t great so had to do it half blind. Still forgot to remove air from second shot. Third night in a row. You can't have everything. Not sure what the other women in the bathroom made of the swearing emanating from my cubicle but I'm not aware of any complaints being made to management. 

DAY 9: 1 x shot in the morning. 2 x trigger shots in the evening. Nailed every.single.one. Skill level: expert. 

Injections stashed in evening bag

If I can manage the injections (and am going back for round 2), anyone can!