Symptoms & Side Effects

From what I gather the side effects of the hormones vary significantly from person to person which may be why I found it difficult to find information online as to what the experience would be like (everything talks about the risk of Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome, which is the most extreme outcome, but not the day to day impacts). 

My side effects included:

• Pretty much nothing in the first 2/3 days
• Minimal bruising around the injection site (I expected much more but only 2 of the 16 or so injection sites bruised)
• Minor short term rash or redness around the injection site once or twice which faded within 12-24 hours
• Feeling emotional/teary (as in, crying because a friend invited me for drinks and I was too tired to go)
• Fatigue - I had to go home and have a nap at lunchtime a few days towards the end
• Excessive discharge (i know it's a reality but it's a yucky word) - for the love of God stack up on pantyliners. 
• Bloating - I had been warned about this one and thought it would feel like I'd eaten a big meal but it is a much lower and bigger form of bloating - sort of like I was wearing a bum bag on the lower abdomen. Full of coins. Inside me.  It felt heavy. By the end it was difficult to eat a lot without then feeling very uncomfortable and I couldn’t wear anything with a restrictive waistband - active wear all the way! 
• Sore ovaries - ranging from general aching like period pain to sharper pain which would make me catch my breath when I stood up or moved in a particular way - over the last 4/5 days I found myself absently holding or rubbing my lower abdomen so no doubt various people in my life are thinking I was pregnant. 
  
  

Before

After

Things that did not happen:

• I thought I would sort of swell all over like a balloon, particularly because I wasn’t able to move as much or do anything high impact - I was really paranoid about gaining weight all over - but the swelling was isolated to my lower abdomen. Thank God for small mercies. 
• Wild mood swings - I thought I would become a bit crazed (more than usual) but really I just felt tired and emotional - no wild mood swings or taking swipes at colleagues or people on the street. It was more low key, like quietly crying in the corner of my pilates class because it was hard. 
• Extensive bruising - I thought my entire abdomen would be black and blue but it was very minor.  Only 1 or 2 injection sites bruised. To be honest I was a bit disappointed about this as I would have liked some visual evidence of how brave I am…

The main thing that I experienced which I did not expect was the emotional toll the process took. I expected to be emotional from hormones but leaving those aside the whole process really is as much an emotional one as a physical one:

• When I first found out that my ovarian reserve levels weren't great, I was completely blindsided and felt a bit at sea for a few days. I couldn't really steady myself until I got in to see the fertility doctor and had the diagnosis confirmed and my various questions answered. I think processing time and then putting together a plan helped. 
• When I had the internal ultrasound and the many follicles which had plagued me for years had disappeared and the Dr counted only 12 across both ovaries, I was both angry and upset. I had spent years suffering the symptoms of PCOS including insulin resistance, inability to lose weight, hirsutism, skin breakouts, burst cysts, irregular periods, hormone imbalances, yet when the extra follicles were finally going to be beneficial they had disappeared. I couldn’t decide whether to cry or scream. Those numbers also suggested for the first time that one cycle might not be enough to get the sort of numbers I needed. 
• When I went to collect my drugs and talk through the process and even when I did the first injections I felt much more alone than I expected. I cried most of the way home from the hospital. Lots of friends had offered to support me but at the end of the day I was very aware that I going through this process by myself, which served to highlight my singledom and fed into insecurities I already had about being alone forever. 
• At the next ultrasound after I'd been on the hormones for a few days and they counted only 7 potentially viable follicles I burst into tears at the potentially low yield and (again) cried all the way home (I note this number would be a dream for many women who struggle with fertility but for a 34 year old otherwise in good health it is not great). It just felt like I was putting my body through a lot for not a great return. If I were closer to 40 this might not have come as such a surprise but at 34 I just didn't expect it to be this hard. 
• When I went in for the next ultrasound a few days later I was crying before the Dr even entered the room. When they gave me the updated figure of 5-8 I didn’t feel anything. I couldn’t be happy the upper figure was higher, or disappointed it could be lower, it just was. At this point we agreed I would do a second cycle and discussed whether to do it straight away or give my body a break. I just wanted it to be over and it was agreed that since the next cycle was later in the month the next month, I would have enough time to recover before starting again.  I cried on the way home (third time in a week - cheeks thoroughly hydrated by this point) at what I was putting my body through and what I was giving up for such a poor return. Normally I am very active, which is really important for my mental health, but I had been unable to play any sport or do high impact exercise for 2 weeks and this was now going to be prolonged further which just made it even harder.  

This is all a very longwinded way of saying, make sure you're ready physically and emotionally for this fun frolic through the world of fertility!

My heat pack was my best friend